My Reality

Chained Reality was a name I had picked out for my main story universe a long, long time ago. At the time, I didn't really know exactly why I chose the name other than that it sounded good. Over the years, my life has given me reasons to rethink the title of this universe I sought to create. Why Chained Reality? Well, a lot of this has to do with story ideas and plot turns that put the characters in situations beyond their control.

They are chained to the overall reality that I'm creating for them. My characters, aren't indentured to me,  nor are they indentured to anyone else in their own universe. Keeping in mind the theory of infinite universes, I ask moral questions of myself as a writer when placing them in dangerous and life threatening situations. I don't fear writing their story, I embrace that their story be told and teach this world of the struggles they could face when they rise above the every day and really look towards the universe.

But an unexpected problem has occurred from this work. I'm starting to notice things in my life that tie me to my reality. To the world I live in, and the reality that humanity has created(whether we like it or not). Is this life the adventure and tale that I need to live out? Is there someone in another universe writing about the struggles that I face in order to teach those in his or her universe? Who's to say. That's not really important, either. It's not good to waste that much time dwelling on what if's in this case.

All I know is that my life is my own, and regardless of where the influences come from I need to roll with the punches. It could be a divine hand, seeking to implement a specific destiny with myself as the vessel. It could be pure chaos, and the things that happen in my life are purely circumstantial and the people I meet simply cross paths when it suits them. Or it could be another completely normal person writing my story in another universe. Regardless of the reason, the course of action I must take is all the same. 

Perhaps the best course of action is to live my life and give to the world the most that I can. Through the depression, the happiness, the anger, and the love, the end result should be the same. Some days seem much harder due to depression. Over the years I've seriously questioned whether my depression was a real problem, or just due to circumstance. It's days like this where I feel down for no specific reason, where the world seems like it's not worth the time. When even the things I know I want from my life seem a waste of time, and the people that I love and care about seem like a waste of time too which really makes it worse.

But despite all of that, I try my best to keep going. Keep smiling and making people smile even through the terrible days. Do your best to remind others that there are good times ahead even if they see nothing but bad. Why? Because if nothing else, you can feel better knowing people around you are happy even if you're not. You're giving something to the world, and that's a blessing in itself. 

 Sadness does not mean you must make others sad. Sometimes, making people smile is what makes your day better.

Sadness does not mean you must make others sad. Sometimes, making people smile is what makes your day better.

Quarter Life Thesis

This year has certainly been an interesting one. A lot of things have happened that caused me to re-think what I want from my life. For a long time, I felt like this: 

 That's one scary ocean.

That's one scary ocean.

Then that, went to this: 

 Supes Mad bro. Like So help me Glob bro.

Supes Mad bro. Like So help me Glob bro.

Now I'm more like this:

 What is Finn?

What is Finn?

While there's a lot of good things in my life, there are still a lot of things that I absolutely despise. I've always wanted to travel, and after having an opportunity to do so, I am realizing just how unhappy I am being stuck in the same place. The choices I've made in my life keep me locked down because of debt and previous obligations.

As much as I'd like to leave it all behind and say Math the consequences, I know doing so would put a few others in tough situations themselves. I'm a pretty smart guy(how smart you ask? Smart enough to know that you're probably reading this in Finn's voice, and if you weren't, you are now assuming you've seen Adventure Time before), so understanding the steps I need to take in order to achieve where I want to be isn't much of an issue.

Finding motivation to take these steps and stick with them is the difficult part when your every day tends to leave you feeling downtrodden. Which is why I must broaden my horizons, seek a greater audience of people who wish to truly encourage me in my endeavors. Making people care about you isn't easy, especially when you have to sell yourself as well as your writing. 

No matter what happens, I know that my life is on it's way to looking more like this: 

 S'all good dawg. I mean Jake. 

S'all good dawg. I mean Jake. 

While this weighs heavy on my head and heart, at least I can poke fun at it and hopefully make someone else smile in the meantime. At least I know I'm good at that. Although sometimes it just boils down to this:

 Thinking too much is what I do.

Thinking too much is what I do.