It always seems like there's a time in our lives when our abilities are tested. We feel like things should be different, events don't add up the way we want. Creating and acting on our dreams becomes the struggle of civilization that ends up being our end.

We always forget that the life we live is our own. It isn't placed before us by some beholder deity trying to create what they think is the best life for us to live, or is it? Personally, I believe we're that deity. It's all in our heads.

Trying to explain events in your life isn't anything new. Humans have been doing it since the conception of coherent thought. Why are we here? What purpose do we serve? Is there a higher power to consider? If there is, are they benevolent? What if they're malevolent?

These questions mean nothing to me, for I already know the answer. Quantifying the events in our lives is only natural. In fact, that is what life is all about. Spinning our own story. Creating our own struggles, our own triumphs.

The real questions are:

At what point is it good to realize this fact? If at all? If we are aware that our decisions are our own, does it make it easier to choose? Can we really spin our lives the way we truly wish them to be?

The answer to these questions are far more unclear to me than the previous. My life isn't devoted to finding meaning to my life anymore. It's devoted to finding the best way to live it.